Posts Tagged Relationships
How Challenging Relationships affect Your Spiritual Wellbeing
|Welcome to the August edition of TotalWellbeing, your guide to the 8 dimensions of wellbeing. This month we are going to take a look at how your spiritual wellbeing and challenging relationships interact with each other. If you missed us last month you can catch up on our newsletters page. As we make it through the year we will continue to emphasize the concept of community and look at how our actions affect our community, country, and in some cases the rest of the world.
To your total wellbeing,
The MINES Team
How Difficult Relationships Can Disrupt Your Spiritual Wellbeing
First, we would like to define Spiritual Wellbeing as it can be misinterpreted. We are not here to discuss various religions or belief systems. Spiritual Wellbeing as defined by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is simply your sense of purpose, feeling of belonging, and ability to find meaning in the world around you. Everyone nourishes their spiritual wellbeing in their own way. Looking at this that definition it is probably easy to see how difficult relationships and hostile people might disrupt your sense of purpose, place, and meaning, especially as it applies to the workplace. If a particular relationship in your personal or professional life is difficult right now, ask yourself:
If the things another person says to you or does to you make you feel hurt and the person won’t stop doing those kinds of things, he or she should not be in your life. It is always your choice whether or not to have a relationship with another person. Reach out to others for information and advice, but the final decision should always be yours.
If you would like to talk to a counselor about these topics, please call us at 1-800-873-7138 to get connected right away. Also, PersonalAdvantage has some great tools and webinars this month to improve your knowledge around dealing with stress and maximizing your life by reducing worry. For more be sure to check out our “Difficult Personalities” infographic.
Question of the Month
What are the things in your life that help give you a sense of belonging?
Quote of the Month
“This above all; to your own self be true.”
– William Shakespeare
MINES Updates/Community World View
Today’s world is full of “us or them” mentality. This can be seen in the current political climate, social media movements, and cultural issues and it can often be tough to find your place in all of the chaos. At these times it is often best to take a step back and try and get away from the noise and constant feed of information. Get offline, go somewhere peaceful so that you have a chance to catch your breath and connect with yourself and reflect on your own thoughts away from the barrage of outside opinions and demands. Then when you return to the daily rush, make sure to keep that connection with yourself.
|If you or a member of your household needs assistance or guidance on any of these wellbeing topics, please call MINES & Associates, your EAP, today for free, confidential, 24/7 assistance at 800.873.7138.|
This Month’s Focus
|MINES does not warrant the materials (Audio, Video, Text, Applications, or any other form of media or links) included in this communication have any connection to MINES & Associates, nor does MINES seek to endorse any entity by including these materials in this communication. MINES accepts no liability for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided herein, nor any additional content that may be made available through any third-party site. We found them helpful, and hope you do too!|
I just couldn’t help dovetailing off of my erudite colleague Ryan Lucas’s most recent blog “Health inSite: Breaking the Fifth Wall.” You see, I am currently in a theater production – mid run. This is something I do every two years or so to keep me young and “in the game.” As always, the life lessons have been prodigious and applicable. These lessons can be applied to health, wellness, as well as organizational performance. Each night we have a huddle before the performance (big cast – 21 actors plus directors, choreographer, lighting engineers, and stage managers) to share a moment of teamwork and motivating words from one another. In this blog I will be sharing a version of what I will share in our next huddle.
In this play, the Fourth Wall definitely gets intentionally broken. If that didn’t work, the play would be a mere shell of itself. Okay, here you go: the play is “The Full Monty.” If you are not familiar with the story, it is about a group of unemployed steelworkers who come up with the idea of putting on a working man’s strip show to make some quick cash. Through the process, each one goes through some personal transformation of overcoming personal doubts and limitations. This is the Broadway musical version that was created after the movie. This is a play of tremendous heart and is about so much more than crudity and stripping (It is set in Buffalo with steel workers, so there is a bit of a hard edge).
Here is what I want to share:
As much as this has been an incredibly fun and positive experience, as happened with me, I have faced some personal demons in the process. I would guess most of us have; be it relationships, body image, skills and talents, or any of the stuff that gets in our way when we attempt to excel. So much of the play is about overcoming those demons. What it takes in order to accomplish this is the openness and support of those around us – our community. When the six of us (“Monty Men”) come out for the last big number, the rest of the cast is out in the audience and has become part of the audience (breaking the Fourth Wall). I cannot tell you the powerful and amazing feeling of getting ready to “bare it all” with this great crew out in the audience whooping, hollering, and heckling. Then they incite the audience to do the same – perhaps approaching the Fifth Wall Ryan alludes to in which people join together in support. The focus is on the six of us, but it’s about each and every one of us, and what it takes to overcome your doubts to reach pure joy and celebration. What I experience is that we are all in it together and that’s what makes it work. I overcame my, as well as my character’s, personal demons. What a gift!
Perhaps we do not completely get to the “Fifth Wall” Ryan alludes to in his blog. There is no designed sharing between audience members. However, we are all very present together in the dance and song “Let It Go.” Breaking the barrier walls, we can construct with one another through openness and support, and create miracles of accomplishment. This is the same at work, in our families, and in any given situation. The characters in this play are almost as diverse as in any workplace. And yet, in the end when we “Let it Go” the show is a huge success and the world feels like a better place.
Let it Go,
Patrick Hiester, L.P.C.
VP of BizPsych
With the most recent financial crisis that has effected so many in the world along with rising gas prices, food prices, and an onslaught of global catastrophes, many are stepping back and taking a close look at their financial management or lack thereof, and making long overdue changes. People are cutting back – reducing credit card debt, building savings accounts, increasing food and water storage, and just being better prepared for a rainy day that, if history is an accurate predictor, will most certainly return one day.
One area of preparation that is all too often overlooked is maintaining a current will or trust. It has been said that the two certainties in life are death and taxes, and even though it’s not pleasant dealing with either of them, we need to be prepared for both. If something happened to you tomorrow, heaven forbid, do you know where your hard-earned assets would go? Do you know where you would want them to go? If you do know where you would want them to go, has it been properly articulated in a will or trust? If the answer to that last question is no, the chances of your assets ending up where you want them are not very good. In fact, it’s quite possible that your assets could end up precisely where you don’t want them to go.
In the United States, the law typically defers to a decedent’s wishes of where his or her assets are to go as long as those wishes have been properly communicated through a will or a trust. However, the law contains default provisions for situations where a person dies without a will or trust and these provisions are called intestacy statutes. These statutes may vary from state-to-state, but the gist of these laws is that the state decides who gets your assets based upon family relationships. The type of familial relationship a person has with the decedent will determine what, if any, assets that person will receive, regardless of what the decedent would have preferred. And if you think about it, it only makes sense. There has to be a standardized “plan B” in the event someone dies without a will, otherwise how could it ever be decided where a decedent’s assets would go?
With that said, everyone is capable of having a will or a trust. Without going into the differences between the two, having a current will or trust is your way of ensuring that the things you’ve worked so hard your entire life to acquire end up going where you want them to go. That may be to those you love the most (i.e. family and friends), it may be to a favorite charitable organization, it may be to a church, a school, or a museum. Where you decide for your assets to go is not as important as making sure your wishes are fulfilled and having a current will or trust is the best way to make that happen.
The most ideal way to create a will or trust is to hire an attorney to do it. There are general attorneys and those who specialize in probate law who can help you with this. However, if funds are currently too tight and you either can’t afford to pay an attorney or don’t want to pay an attorney to do this, many jurisdictions allow you to create what is called a “holographic will.” A holographic will is a will you create yourself. To do this, you simply hand-write your will on a piece of paper, date it and sign it. Standard wills require witnesses signatures attesting to the validity of the testator’s signature, but a holographic will does not. The important thing with a holographic will is that the testator informs individuals close to him or her that the will exists and where it is located, so when the testator dies, it can be found and applied.
If you get nothing else out of this, the one point you should take home is that everyone needs a will or trust and almost everyone is capable of having one, regardless of a your financial situation. The key is that you begin the process now.
Wade Hardie, JD, MBA
MINES Corporate Counsel